


The Burden of a Human Heart

by LifeOfMystery



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s06e15 The French Mistake, Female Lucifer (Supernatural), Gen, Gender or Sex Swap, Human Lucifer (Supernatural), Lucifer Redemption, POV Lucifer, Reincarnation, Secret Identity, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-19 15:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22712794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifeOfMystery/pseuds/LifeOfMystery
Summary: Rather than falling into the pit, Lucifer is reincarnated as a human girl.Unfortunately for her, mortality is stronger than one would think.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You know when you get an idea that sounds slightly insane but you can't stop thinking about it? And then you end up writing it?

One warm summers night, a star fell to earth. A different earth than you were probably expecting, where Dean and Sam Winchester were only characters on a show, and monsters didn’t crawl out of the shadows.

This star, however did not belong to this earth. And neither did the girl who found it, although she didn’t know that yet. 

And so this is the story of how a very unimportant girl became something so much more.

-

Lucy Hall was a normal girl. She was nice, in the casual, unassuming way most people were. She had friends, of a sort. She liked her life, and the people in it.

That was what everyone around her saw. But Lucy knew she was different.

When she was younger, she had nightmares. Or at least, that was what her parents believed. The truth was she still had nightmares. The only things that had changed was her ability to keep her parents from knowing.

The things she saw, blood and violence, muscles ripping apart, black eyes gleaming out flames, should have driven her insane. But as far as she knew, she was sane. 

Well, she did have the occasional murderous and tortuous thoughts, but everyone had those. Everyone must have thought at some time about drowning the mail man, or stabbing that small little boy who just wouldn’t stop talking to her.

It was fine. She was fine. And no one would know otherwise.

-

The star had fell to earth, and Lucy planned to go out to see it. Alone, of course. It was easier, being alone. She didn’t need to hide herself when alone.

She didn’t know why she thought this as she currently wasn’t actually hiding anything. She was exactly the same person she was, alone or not. But yet the thought persisted, and so she went alone.

She got there early. The star was still smoking in its crater, a hole half a mile wide. It sat there in the centre, half lodged in the dirt.

Lucy clambered over the rim of the crater, and skidded her way down to the centre. She was almost certainly ruining her best shoes, but she decided she didn’t care.

The star was glowing. Like an angel, her mind supplied. This surprised her, considering neither her or her parents had been particularly religious. This was one of many surprising thoughts that were swept away and placed in her mental dustbin, to deal with later, which she never quite got around to.

She reached out to touch the star. She expected it to burn her, or at least be hot to the touch, but it was cold. She couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.

If that’s what you want, a voice whispered inside her head. The star flashed hot underneath her hand. She yelped, pulling her burned hand away.

She stared at her red hand, and then at the star. It sat there quietly. Lucy got the faintest feeling that it was mocking her.

Lucy poked the star. Cold again. Grabbing the star, she wrenched it out of the dirt. It was heavier than she expected. She pulled backwards, and it flew out. Mud spat into her eyes as she flew backwards. 

From her newly seated position, she eyed the star. It looked like a box. A very gold box, but it was definitely a box.

In fact, she was almost 100% sure it was her mother’s jewellery box, the one she had been instructed as a child to never touch.

This one was nicer than her mother’s.

Something tugged at Lucy. Lucy rested her hand on the top. No voice spoke in her head, but she got the feeling it wanted her to do something.

Lucy looked down at the latch. It was a simple one, no lock or key. Just a latch.

She pressed her thumb gently down on the cold metal. And popped the latch open.

For a moment there was nothing. And then there was everything.

Light poured out of the box and into her, consuming her, destroying her.

Lucy’s life flashed before her eyes, but mixed with images she had never seen. Images of darkness. Images of pain and torture and torment and loneliness and-

Images from her nightmares.

Lucy screamed only once before she was gone.

-

Lucifer opened his eyes. The open night sky greeted him.

He frowned. The last thing he remembered was Sam Winchester pulling him into the pit. It had very definitely been the day, unless the sun had gone on a revolt when he hadn’t noticed.

Lucifer got to his feet, and then almost fell over again. His brain had flared up at him, another life rushing past him at once, and it was almost too much, too mortal,a and the pain of everything he had done burned through him and what had he done he had ruined everything-

And Lucifer opened her eyes.

-

Half-human, half-angel. Hells, she was an abomination.

She could feel the mortal blood trickling through her, could smell the rancid stench of it.

The memories and thoughts flashing through her brain, not hers, but also all her, in every detail.

Mortals had this way of thinking about themselves, making their lives longer and mean more than they should for a species with such a small lifespan. Lucifer should have burned the Lucy right out of her.

But Lucy had lived for 18 years, and in a mortal brain, that was long enough to leave a mark. Long enough to overpower Lucifer.

She wanted to be angry, wanted to rage. She could destroy this feeble planet with a snap of her fingers. No angels, no Micheal here to stop her. She could kill everything on this planet and nothing would be able to stop her. She seen their technology, seen their warfare, and it was pitiful. Nothing against the power of an archangel.

And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to muster the power. The rage that had consumed Lucifer for so long was gone now. Destroying the world just seemed like an awful lot of effort. In Lucy’s mind, she could see all the good mortals had done. Memories of her mother tucking her into bed each night, with a story and a soft goodnight.

She could remember Lucy’s first kiss, with a girl behind the sports cabin. She could remember the fear of getting caught, and the rushed exhilaration of the touch of the other’s lips.

No. She couldn’t kill humanity, couldn’t bring the apocalypse.

This must have been Dad’s idea. Bring Lucifer here, give her a touch of humanity, and then hope it would be enough to change her mind. She laughed into the night sky. He was right, damn him. His plan had worked.

For the first time, Lucifer could finally see what God had seen in humanity. And she had changed.

Now all she had to do was find a way to return home to bring them the good news.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer finds a way back home.

The problem with getting kicked into an alternate universe by an all powerful God was that it was rather difficult to get back.

Lucifer could feel the lack of magic all around her, an omnipresent reminder that she didn’t belong here. In a meditative trance, Lucy let her Grace out to explore this world in full.She was the only magical thing she could feel for miles.

That loneliness that had lingered in her bones as Lucy now made sense. She had been forced away from her world, her family, her everything for far too long. First the cage, then this new world. She’d only been able to walk free for about a year before the Winchesters got involved. She longed to go back.

The thought of the Winchesters brought up a new line of thought. Apologies would be needed, to so many people. She recalled that final conversation with Gabriel, before she stabbed him in the heart.

He was right, she now realised. She’d just scorned him off as her younger brother, confused after so many years of running from heaven, but he’d been right. And she’d killed him for it. 

Lucifer had been running off of misguided rage for so long now, not caring who or what she hurt in her wake. That all had to change.

When she got back, she would find the Winchesters and then the angels, and then she could fix everything. She remembered how it had once been, with Micheal. Before her betrayal. Before the fall. The two of them, true brothers, in every sense of the word. How she wished she could go back to that. 

And now she could. God had finally given her a second chance, and she wasn’t going to let this one slip away. 

Now all she had to do was get back, and then avoid being killed, because as much she trying to ignore it, there were probably going to be a great many people who would want her Grace on a pike. No, she surmised, she couldn’t be straightforward about this. She had to be subtle, would have to trick and lie and cheat, but never for evil, not this time around. She would make people love her, as Lucy, and then when they inevitably found out they would love her even more. Applaud her, perhaps, for living so long as a human. 

Yes, she could see it now! Her family pulling her back into open arms, so happy to see her and then when they weren’t looking she could so easily slip a dagger into their awaiting backs-

No. No. That was wrong. She didn’t want that. There was still too much Lucifer in her. She knew what she wanted, and it was an end to all the pain and to all the suffering. It seemed that she still had not yet found a balance to herself. It would take time, and work, but she would manage.

Lucifer always did.

A spark of something new flared into the world. Lucifer’s Grace responded to it instantly, flocking like a bird to a call. A rift had opened, a rift between worlds, and something had fallen out. Virgil.

Why was he here? He should have been up in Heaven, guarding the weapons.

Lucifer tensed. Maybe Virgil had come for her. But that didn’t make sense. She had been here for eighteen years, human and defenseless and nothing had come. Either it was incredibly bad timing, or…

Lucifer reached back in time, to the exact moment her Grace had appeared in this world.

There it was. Another rift. Her Grace must have fallen through accidentally, pulled by the magnetism of a world containing herself. 

Of course, there lay the question of who had come through that rift. 

A few more seconds of searching, and who it was became very clearly obvious. Sam and Dean Winchester. Who else? They were here, stuck here with Lucifer, and with them, she could find a way back.

-

Lucifer landed softly behind a trailer. She wanted to laugh. A television show about the characters of Sam and Dean Winchester? What a world she had found herself in. She couldn’t imagine why anyone want to watch them, where there were people so much more interesting than the likes of them (namely, her), but mortals had always confused her. At least this time it was more amusing than rage-inducing.

She had reached forwards in time with her Grace, and even with the limited sense she had after God had created linear time, she could tell another rift would open, here in approximately… 5 minutes.

Screaming filled the air, and for a minute Lucifer was elated, the twisted screams of people succumbing to death music to his ears, but then she came back to herself. Virgil must be here. He had never been one for the subtle. If Virgil found her and figured out who she was… this body wasn’t a vessel, this was hers and she wasn’t excited to find out what would happen if it were to die. She would have to keep a low profile.

Creeping around the side of the trailer, she saw what happened. Virgil’s coat swished around the doorway, entering a large building with a sign reading “Main Set.” Bodies lay indiscriminately between them, riddled with bullets.

She frowned. Why would he use bullets? Unless, his angelic powers didn’t work in this world, and he was forced to use the mortal methods. But then why did hers? It occurred to her that she hadn’t really done anything that would require the immense power of her Grace, only looking through the world and a slight teleportation. Maybe killing and reality manipulation was beyond her here too.

Either way, she really had to hurry.

Slipping between the dead bodies, not wanting to step on any of them (she wasn’t sentimental, she just didn’t want blood on her shoes, she told herself), she followed Virgil into the building.

And there they were, the Winchesters. Arguing with an angel, as foolhardy as ever. She forced the slight hint of a smile down. It was no good to form human attachments, especially not to them.

Even so, she could feel the strength of her vessel. She remembered what had been like to be him, so tall and broad shouldered. It was so different from her current body, small and inconspicuous. 

It was funny to think she had been so arrogant she had thought Sam Winchester wouldn’t have the power to force her into the pit. She’d even hurt his brother, and still assumed he would have stayed dormant, locked behind the power of her Grace.

Now, she found his actions commendable. The apocalypse should have been stopped, should never have been started. She’d grown fond of this world, and its food. Especially quiche. She would never want to live in a world without quiche.

Now, they were moving. Magic rushed in to fill the gap in this world. It would be gone soon, like a wave sloshing over the sands of the walls between worlds. 

She had to be very very fast, but also invisible. She clouded herself, hiding her from mortal and human view alike, and leapt through the window with the Winchesters.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy has a plan. Also, vampires.

The world rushed and gasped around her as she fell between realities. It was altogether too similar to the first time she fell, and she quickly pushed the memory out of her mind.

Luckily for her, Sam provided a perfect cushion for her to land on. Her vessel, always there for her. She really should appreciate him more.

Rolling of him, still invisible, she was just about to teleport away when she felt the presence of another angel.

Raphael.

Why was he here? Appearing to… threaten the Winchesters?

That was her job!

And now Balthazar was here?

What had happened since she had been gone?

Apparently, Balthazar had been the one to steal Heaven’s weapons, which explained Virgil’s appearance. She wasn’t surprised to hear of an angelic civil war. Angels always were so frivolous, and she doubted God had come down to set them straight.

She preened in the idea that God had chosen to help her, and not any of the other angels. Not that they deserved it.

At least now she understood what was going on in the Angelic world, as idiotic as it sounded. It would be a great time for a war against Heaven, she mused, as scattered as they were. But, alas, she had sworn, no apocalypse, no war. She would leave it as was for them to fix, which it would be inevitably. Some upstart would come along and take control, and then Heaven would trundle along its merry way, oblivious to any real problems, as it always did.

For now, she had to enact her own plan.

She flew away, landing near a vampire den. It only took a few seconds before they caught the bait. In this body, she was exactly their favourite target, vulnerable, small and alone.

Then she was running, attempting to put her best scared mortal face on. It was suprising easy, mortal blood and mortal adrenaline doing most of the work for her. A memory flashed, of when Lucy was young, running inside from a thunderstorm, desperately hoping she wouldn’t get caught in it’s downpour.

She brushed the memory away. She couldn’t get lost in her head now, not when she needed to be more focused than ever.

This was the tricky bit.

One short stumble later, and the vampire was right on top of her, snarling and pawing at her neck. It would have been terrifying, if she hadn’t had the knowledge that she could kill it with barely a look.

She grabbed the vampire’s arms in what appeared to be fending it off, but instead transported them to a field just outside Bobby Singer’s house. His house was still unguarded from angels, the idiot. Of course, it would be just like Castiel to only focus on protecting the Winchesters.

Lucy kicked at the vampire in a display of strength that was very much beyond what this mortal body would normally be capable of, and hoped the vampire hadn’t noticed that fact.

It seemed the vampire hadn’t, too distracted by the faceful of mud it had landed in. It got up, mud staining it’s fangs, and snarled with rage.

Lucy turned and ran, running all the way up to Bobby Singer’s door. She slammed the door as hard as an eighteen year old girl in mortal danger would. She really hoped Bobby was actually in there, or she would have to come and do this all again tomorrow. 

People really didn’t appreciate the effort she put into her work.

The door flew open and Lucy fell into the hallway, right into Bobby’s arms. Mud dripped off her and onto the floor, and her clothes were ripped to shreds. In other words, exactly how a mortal should look after being chased by a vampire.

Said vampire was currently pacing around outside, snarling at the doorway. Bobby took one look at her, grabbed a machete off the wall and stalked outside.

Lucy sank to the floor, out of breath. It had taken more out of her to do this than she expected. Her fully angelic form would have been fine, disconnected from her body as she was used to. But this, this was different. She prodded at a scratch on her arm. Pain flared up and she winced. Human pain. So different from the pain she had felt in the Cage, that had lingered on even after she was released.

Looking back, that pain had always fueled her. Even when she was walking on Earth, supposedly free, the Cage had infected her thoughts. Now, she was free of all of that, and it had only taken a mortal’s pain to remind her of that.

A visceral scream sounded from outside. That was the vampire. 

Her mortal half wondered if she should feel guilty that she had led it to its death, but she rolled her eyes at the thought. It was a vampire. She shouldn’t feel guilty for killing a vampire.

Even so, the thought lingered.

Bobby entered the house, coated in blood. He looked at her, and sympathy shone clear in his eyes.

“None of its blood got into you?” He asked gruffly.

“No,” she replied softly, “I’m not infected.”

His shoulders sagged in badly hidden relief. “Better get you cleaned up, then. You live nearby?”

She shook her head. Each word, each movement, had to be carefully chosen. Get Bobby suspicious and her plan would never work.

“I got lost from my family, hunters, a while back. They were working a case, when we got seperated. I’ve been running ever since. Monsters just seem to follow me around.” Lucy stared at her hands, trying to not to look at Bobby’s reaction. “I don’t know why.”

“Where did you get lost, kid? Maybe we can find them.” Bobby leaned down to meet her, obviously trying to not intimidate her. Like he could, hah.

“Maine. At least, I think it was. It’s been kind of a while.”

His eyebrows jumped up to his forehead.

“You came all the way from Maine by foot? That’s a hell of a way.”

Lucy looked to the side and put on her best confused look. “I don’t really remember what happened, I think someone was helping me. They said they were an angel.”

Bobby let out a breath. “That’s... unusual. They aren’t normally the helping kind.”

And didn’t she know it. But this was the best she had in getting Bobby interested in her, and if Bobby was interested, the Winchesters would be the first people he’d call.

“That’s what he told me.” She let her body relax, let the pull of her injuries override her. 

“I’m so tired,” she whispered, “Is there anywhere I can clean myself up?”

Bobby’s expression cleared, sympathy once again at the forefront. Lucy wanted to laugh, this was too easy.

“Just up the stairs, and down the hall.”

Lucy nodded her thanks, and limped up the stairs, telegraphing her winces as best she could.

At the top of the stairs, she risked a glance at Bobby. He was already dialling.

Lucy looked back and smirked. Everything was going according to plan.


End file.
